Yesterday I went to the park. For most people it’s just go home, rest a bit and carry on. When you have fibromyalgia things work differently. I have a nice, warm, hot bath with bubbles to relax. Then change into loungewear, now even jeans rubbing causes pain. Relax with the electric blanket in bed and warm up, eventually falling asleep. When I’m awake I’m often hungry, but due to fibromyalgia I sometimes struggle to eat.
Studying with fibromyalgia cannot be fun. You Will have all your study items ready to begin , then the next you have a flare up and your back in bed. The normal things that everyone takes for granted- including shopping etc you can’t always do. Society may call you lazy but in fact living with a chronic illness is not fun. Say 1 or 2 glasses of wine? Maybe more, well I will be in bed a day or so. The weather changes including the cold and rain don’t help. I yearn for those blissful balmy hot days when you can completely relax and be warm. With hardly any flare ups.
Today, I’ve ordered myself a fibromyalgia journal to see my pain levels. I’ve heard hydrotherapy is good- but due to the ongoing pandemic I haven’t been able to go. I am hoping to once the restrictions ease. However, I still go for my daily walks and to be fair- it does help with the fibromyalgia pain levels . Although after I am a little worn out. Living with a chronic illness is no fun, I’ve been called lazy and I had to stop working as stress flares it up. Together with my PTSD sometimes my days are mostly rest days.
Working for the magazine has given me something to aspire to- I always wanted to be a journalist. It has given me something to research and look into. I am grateful to opportunities that come my way. My university tutor has been understanding and has given me extensions If it’s needed. It does annoy me how society deems you useless if you cannot work. When the reality of chronic illness is a lot different.
Samantha Mansi 26.3.2021