As if being in a cult was not bad enough, losing my belongings .. going up and down on trains from South Wales to the Scottish borders . It sounds like a movie ? It’s true life. It’s why I began my masters in creative writing and it’s why I want to become a writer.
Struggling with PTSD after being culted was hard enough, without the authorities just totally deserting me. Sure they helped me with the court process but that was about it. So what is it like to be coerced out of two different refuges? It’s absolute hell, when you feel totally unsafe . You believe someone with mental health issues that you are coerced back to him and to more trauma. As much as it’s a blur, I do remember the kindness of people and despite the fact I thought I was losing my mind I have got out and I’m able to tell The tale.
Being culted in a end of the world cult is frightening. I stopped watching the tv and the news really triggered me as well . He would say my abuser- look they are bringing in the microchip and all sorts of bizarre things. He believed in things such as clone factories and flat earth Theories. My breakdown was caused by my work in the Yorkshire ambulance service and I got taken off emergency calls due to some errors. I felt like a total failure and was upset. However, my ex had seemed like a way out- to what was going on. We had intimacy and he said I was his wife, that God had put us together. It sounds strange to believe that- but when your headspace isn’t great it’s easy to become vulnerable to such predators.
The story goes on and on with many twists and tales . But unfortunately the British system does not allow much space for cult survivors . Nor is there much support given, luckily I worked on self care and found I like writing poetry and spending time with animals . I like time walking and in nature as well. So whenever your going through you will get there and don’t give up - please reach out for help.
S. Mansi 6.4.2021
